i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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