It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
