you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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