She said her name was "party"
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
