She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
