wake up i wanna do it froggy style
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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