well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize