You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
