Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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