Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
NoShamevember. You game?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I just want nice things and good sex
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
