i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
