Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
