Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
