Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Sorry my hands just texted you
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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