So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Congratulations! We have a period
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