I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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