dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
