At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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