life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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