So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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