She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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