I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
