Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Randomize
