i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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