i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
