I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
