Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
high people should be assigned attendants
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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