my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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