I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
