I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize