i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
