We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
It's official drugs can't kill me
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
