I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
