just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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