She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
