so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
