just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
