girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
