She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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