i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Shame - the story of my life.
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