I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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