Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
