Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
