And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
