Is it normal to miss your booty call?
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
