I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
