Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
