The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
