Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
