There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
