If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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