made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
