..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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