If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
do herpes really smell.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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