he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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