In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Randomize
